Better language

I am learning a new language from all these new friends I am making. We talk for 5-10 min and it is in depth but very subject focused. My 12-step friends focus on 12-stepping. My church friends focus on church. My wicca/tarot friends focus on magic. There is something about having shorter conversations on focused topics. These are not mini therapy sessions or a search for mother, like I was trying to make them into before. They are useful, focused information and mutual support sharing conversations. I need to learn this language some more. Maybe what would be helpful is when I call someone to think about the topic/focus in advance so I don't fall into a mutual looking for mother/therapist conversation like I have done so much in the past. That is what Adrianne complains about in me.