Self not ego

I have been doing a lot of Centering Prayer and also a daily sit of Theravada meditation. I find I like doing Buddhist meditation on the floor and I ordered a pillow and mat. I'm less interested in alternative consciousness and more interested in dissolving my ego and letting my self develop instead. I have a feeling of having someone with me or myself, so I'm no longer lonely or so needy. Christians call it friendship with Jesus, Buddhists call it no self, but I have someone with me. The ego needs to dissolve a little at first so this self can come through. I don't believe someone can be truly happy without an experience of this sort and that the ego complex, developed because we don't know how to sit with ourselves, or parent ourselves, wants more and more of whatever is feeding it and is the reason we get so violent. I want more self, less ego. This is done through prayer and meditation.