New Attitude

I realize the attitude I have now is one of engagement and building up, mostly through learning about entrepreneurship and investing. I like this attitude and I think I spent a lot of time preferring the attitude that luxury brings pleasure. I question that. Luxury made me snappy and soft, demanding more and more, like an addiction. I wonder if it really only feeds neurosis. Just a thought for the day.

Zines and Kathy Acker

Zines and their stories of accepting trauma and sexing out of it. Thats fine maybe a good idea, better than being stuck in it and continually retraumatized. But at some point any intellectualizing, even the very engaging kind, needs to rest in the Great Mother, the feminine, and be consoled and refreshed. You cannot engage yourself away from the mother goddess no matter how hard you try. And why would you try? The mother goddess consoles, heals, processes trauma into experience, refreshes and helps me move forward into more experiences, life and as trauma happens moves back into process and consoling. I'm going down town to the library today to read, check out some Zines and comics. I like the writing and the stories and attitudes. Its a new hobby for me and a cheap one that helps me save money for more investing. Also I'm starting to feel rich without having a lot of money. Maybe richer that people with money. It has to do with cheap engaging hobbies and an ability to process them. We all need the goddess.

Better Investing group

Last night I went to the Better Investing group in Beaverton. I really have a lot to learn and it is so hard to save money and get the funds to invest. Some of the women I met there are really interesting and are really good investors. I want to buy some long term dividend paying stocks and am interested in the website manifestinvesting. The Better Investing people shared that they use Value Line a lot so maybe its time for me to get over to the library. Also they said Barron's has a list of insider trading, so you know when company people are buying and selling. Maybe I'll go over to the manifest investing site and see if I can get a trial subscription. I just have so many tools I need to learn to use them better.

Stood up

Tracey from NWReia forgot about me. I called and she apologized but was too busy to get together. I'm relieved. I don't want real estate sales people to be too serious about me. I don't have the money for a deal and I'm considering sticking to REITs instead. Learning about business and real estate might help me with my kid or grandkids if they want to do deals. I'm not sure I will ever have that kind of money to lose. For now I'm trying to innovate my life and get more with what I have with careful planning and new ideas about hobbies and lifestyle choices. And I need to pay down my credit cards. I'm giving myself two years. I'm very interested in CHK so I'm watching it. If I could put my credit card payments into investing I'd be doing even better.

Lidia

I take it. back, I'm really enjoying Lidia and The Chronology of Water. It is a really good book with really good writing. How about going to the library after dinner and then sex instead of the TV. Sakula uses the New Yorker for news. I could try it. I don't really like the TV's attitude.

Reading Local: Portland

My new favorite blog is about local writers work in Portland, thus my title. I picked up The Chronology of Water. It started out really good, but now I'm getting bored with that lifestyle. The author talks about too much booze and sex. At some point you have to grow out of it or you get stuck in it, no matter how bad your trauma was or is. At some point you have to walk away from the trauma, like I'm doing with the TV. Everyone on the news on TV is in trauma, a trauma that is way too much for me. I spent my day chatting with Rosie, walking on the treadmill, making a failed grape jelly, and finally drinking coffee and going to the library to check out some writing magazines. Trauma, inner or outer, causes you to focus too much on yourself and to develop a complex of ego and ism, or as Rosie told me today, I, self and me. Being stuck in this complex is the result and cause of so much trauma. I need to walk away or fun away I self and me. Which is so hard to do. My writing, although bad, makes a point.