New interests

I am sitting here writing this realizing that I need a variety of interests. For years all I was interested in was Jung and mutual fund investing. I'm realizing I have to learn more about more subjects in the same area. I'm wondering what else I could learn about that would help add depth to my character and help me become a more interesting person. I'll have to think about it.

Productive relationships

If I am ever successful in my investing what would I want to do with the money? For me productivity is all about relationships. I like having relationships with people who are excited and part of that excitement comes from making money. It is not only the money, but the feelings and quality of relationships that comes with being successful. I would like to develop relationships with other successful people and form a network. All the successful people in business that I have read about are successful because of their intelligence but also because of their networks. They have friends that teach them how to be successful and how to succeed in business. They exchange information and help each other. I would like to have more friends who teach me how to be successful. Those are my favorite kind of friends.

Positive feminine, Positive masculine

For the first time I feel in balance. My positive feminine is being activated by my devotion to Mary and my positive masculine is being activated by attending a New Thought Church. I finally feel good, in balance and happily positive. I feel I am achieving my spiritual goals, finally.

Simplicity

My day moves in easy cycles. Sometimes I wonder if I should have been more ambitious when I was younger and accomplished more. But I realize I can't have it both ways. If I did more activities my life would be less simple. Always there is choice and trade-off in energy. Now I have enough energy to be creative and have enough time to gather information. However I never established a business network which is one of the things I would like to do.

Hawaii flowers blooming

The flowers that my mom's caregiver Parvin brought back from Hawaii are blooming. They are beautiful white flowers and I love them. My Auntie Hedda is in her transition stage and my cousin Gregory is busy doing what I did for my mom and dad. It is very hard work and nothing really makes it better. But all this waiting around, sitting with, and witnessing is exactly what helps make a positive transition for the dying person. I wish them all my best and send blessings and positive thoughts towards all of them.

Getting motivated

I realize that I really enjoy being motivated. I am motivated to earn money and increase my income through investing. However the money is only part of it. Maybe I will make money and maybe I won't. The part I am really enjoying is being around other people who are motivated and positive about what they are doing. This is especially true in the real estate group I am going to. They are all looking for deals and to share information. It is fun, exciting and interesting. Also I enjoy reading books on motivation in business. They have a lot of ideas on how to be more successful and productive. When I am motivated I am happy to get up in the morning and the day is really fun.

Controling women friends

I was so annoyed at my 12-step meeting yesterday. I am in a service job and was trying to do it. I must of had five different women trying to tell me what to do and how their way was better. It drove me crazy. In another time I would have just agreed to everything and seethed. Today I tell them fine, if they want to do things a certain way they can but they have to do it, not me. I realize that my self esteem is better. It takes a certain amount of self esteem to be able to tolerate, even thrive, in relationship areas like the one I'm describing. I was irritated but I found myself gaining confidence too.

Mother's Day energy

I woke up early, around 5:30, this morning, Mother's Day. I had coffee, went to Safeway, and have been cooking potatoes and bacon. The condo smells delicious and Barbara is coming over for brunch. I took a nap from around 8:30 to 9:30. I have decided not to try and fight my inner clock that is waking me up so early. Instead I am going to make time for a morning nap and an afternoon nap. Naps are a good way to process and I feel as refreshed and energetic after I take one.

Need to process

Since yesterday afternoon I have had a lot of different energies swirling around my body and head. I feel like the kundalini energy in me is finally waking up. I try and mix my energies and this one isn't keeping me from doing stuff but it is on my mind. This morning I have a real estate seminar and my daughter is coming home for Mother's Day. Somehow writing helps me organize my thoughts and energies. This kundalini energy also comes from being more aware about how I am living my life. It is providing a new space for me to go deeper into life.

An easy day

I had my book group today and as always it was interesting. I decided not to go downtown to Willamette Writers as it is so stormy and rainy. I read somewhere that people who read are interesting and people who write are interesting too. Today in book group people were saying that they were tired of books that are full of characters with problems because they didn't have good parents. Characters like that are often flat with boring lives and boring stories. I like reading books like that because they help me relate to how good my life is. A certain amount of flatness and boredom leaves room for processing and often can lead to reflection, from my point of view. It can be a start of growth.

Feeling punky

I woke up feeling a little punky and edgy today. I had coffee and a yogurt and went for a 20 min uphill walk. I'm still feeling a little off balance. Today I start my tarot class in the Woodstock area of Portland. I realize that relationships can be difficult and I don't always want to be in relationship with everyone in my life. I really have to be in the mood to talk and I find I don't like small talk. Sometimes just the idea of small talk puts me into a bad mood. I need to respect this feeling in my life and adjust my relationships to a place where I am comfortable with the communication they entail.